


we send the same blood back from the war

by Tinuviel



Series: the light in the distance, waiting for me [4]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Angst, Au Ra WoL, Drabble, Dragoons dealing with Dragoon problem, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, OC, Warrior of Light - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 16:34:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14675061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tinuviel/pseuds/Tinuviel
Summary: A good night's rest cannot fix all problems.





	we send the same blood back from the war

**Author's Note:**

> Before you get any further into this fic, this one is actually a direct continuation of we thought we lost you (welcome back) so make sure you go read that one first!
> 
> This fic wasn't originally thought out when I wrote the first part haha but a fantasia change ended up becoming LORE  
> (title is from adventures in solitude by the new pornographers)

The first threads of dawn were beginning to peak through the curtains, waking Pri of the most restful sleep she had gotten in some time. She was warm and comfortable, curled into Estinien’s side, with the weight of his arm around her back. Watching the gentle rise and fall of his chest, Pri wished she was also still asleep, but she knew she would barely be able to doze now that she was awake. Carefully, with the practiced movements of lovers parting before they can be found out, she slipped out from Estinien’s grasp, and sat up, wincing at the chill of the wood floor. 

She really should have shut the window.

Padding over to the dressing table, Pri grabbed the tunic folded on the counter. It was Estinien’s, a soft blue laced shirt she had seen him wear before, that she had stolen before. It hung on her loosely, counting as decent in only the barest terms, but it was enough to stave off some of the chill lingering in the room. 

It would probably be a good idea to head to Fortemps Manor before she had to meet anyone, knowing without looking up into the small mirror that her long white hair was likely a bird’s nest of tangles and matted blood. Pri looked up to survey the damage, and the sight of her own reflection caught her off guard with a gasp.

She had been right about her hair, and there were scratches and dirt scattered over her face. None of that was that surprising, it was her eyes that caught her off guard 

Her eyes-

The right was the familiar gold, with the faintly glowing yellow limbal ring. Her mother’s eyes, the eyes she had always had.

But the left....

Pri leaned closer to the mirror, prodding at her eyelid as if it was just a trick of the light, a trick of the mirror.  
Her left eye was no longer gold, it was a violent orange, shot through with red, and made worse by the same yellow limbal ring. This colouring was familiar too, familiar in a way she hated, a way she feared.  
She still saw Nidhogg’s eyes in her nightmares after all.

Pri dropped her hands, smacking against the wooden table before curling in, short claws catching and making small rivets. There was a shift noise from the bed, and a slight grunt. Estinien was awake, and she should leave, she should leave and go as far away as possible, and pray that no one would ever find her, pray that no one would ever find her and her dragon tainted eye. But what if it was like before? Would she become a thrall to Nidhogg’s vengeful spirit as well? She felt nothing different, no whispers against her mind, but for Ishgard to fall under threat by the very person who had just helped end the war, and to put Estinien in her position...ready to kill those they loved most just to save the rest of the world....

“...the chirurgeons may be displeased if you keep marking up their sickrooms with your claws you know.”

Estinien huffed, But she didn’t turn, she didn’t want him to see, she loathed to keep playing this game, hiding her face from him as she cried, but she didn’t want him to see that awful eye. It had been dark enough last night when she snuck in that he likely didn’t notice, but the morning sunlight would surely show it off.

Pri could feel the beginnings of a headache, and it felt like cold fear setting into her bones. Pressing the heel of her palm against her left eye was a familiar motion, but doing it now felt like she was haphazardly trying to contain what ever malevolent aether had done this.

“I had been joking about you and the boy crying so much, but if you’re going to do it, could you at least come here?”

She hadn’t realized she had started crying, her racing thoughts about how far to run, how to hide, had drowned out her own soft snuffling. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair at all. How could she keep giving so much and still have fate twist around her like this? Blessed by the Mother Crystal and yet....?

“Pri? Come here...please?”

Estinien saying please was rare enough, let alone with such a soft tone.

Pri couldn’t lie to him, she could try, but she knew it would mean nothing in the end. He’d stare her down with those blue eyes and rip every secret from her lips, just be virtue of being _him_.  
It felt like an imitation of last night. Pri would hide her face in the shadows and Estinien would wait with a shocking amount of patience for her to come to him. Repeating the same steps, across the room, to the bed, into his arms...

She hadn’t noticed him get up, nor come up behind her, hands soft on her shoulders, and the point of his chin leaning into her hair.

“Is this about your eye?”

Pri dropped her hand in shock, uncovering her left eye, orange pupil now watery with tears, and staring back at her in the mirror. 

“Estinien...”

She couldn’t stop watching herself, watching that eye to see if it could suddenly move independently.

“I could tell one was darker last night, changed somehow but....”

Estinien made a quiet noise in his throat, not quite a laugh, but she could feel it against her hair.

“I’m not surprised that you took some of his aether, intentionally or not. Like calls to like, and you have always been strong.”

“How can you...how can you be so calm about this?! You’re strong too and yet..he took you, he took you away, but you’re so certain I’m the same as always-“

He cut her off with a motion, his right hand coming up to cover her right eye and cheek. Her gold eye, her good eye.

“Your eye is different yes, but you are still the same. No grotesque protrusions, no nothing, you are worrying over everything and nothing. Again.”

“I do not worry about everything-“

Estinien pressed his lips against her hair and turned her to face him, both eyes now uncovered, both eyes meeting his.

“You do, you always do. I don’t even think Alphinaud knows how much you worry, that you always think that you’re one step from some sort of corruption. That one of the times they send you out to fight a God, that you won’t return the same..”

He leaned forward, pressing his lips against her temple, against her scales, and then ever so softly against her right eye. And then the left, lingering a moment before leaning his forehead to hers.

“Even If if you were not Hydaelyn’s own champion, I think you would come out unscathed.”

The weight of his faith in her hit Pri like a Chocobo carriage, mouth open in surprise, and hands gripping his waist, gently enough to not pierce skin, but enough to hold on to. She had heard the same tone in his voice when he spoke of Aymeric, that for all his prickly nature, there were people even he believed in.

Using what little leverage she had from his waist, she canted herself up, pressing her lips against Estinien’s. A little unsure and soft, a thank you, for not letting her go, for not letting her send herself back into exile. He held her tighter in response, tilting her head to have her closer, to kiss her deeper.

There was relief in this. Nothing had been fixed, Estinien hadn’t magically fixed her eye, or fixed how she felt about it, or the fear of failure she always carried. Pri would still have moments where that orange caught her off guard, where it was no longer her eye, but Nidhogg’s. In his own form, or grafted to Estinien. When she worried if only for a moment that Estinien had the same fears when he looked into her eyes. 

But it was enough right now.

**Author's Note:**

> I should really write a companion to this from Estinien's POV just because it's probably coming off like he's a lot better put together after the whole Nidhogg mess than he should be (he is not fine) but that's a tough nut to crack so bare with me if it never actually happens LOL


End file.
